Saturday, March 31, 2007

Madonna & Cat Stevens: World Class Sluts

Keep your eye out for middle-aged born-again religious zealots: most of them have a deepseated reason for desperately and intensely seeking forgiveness for their sins: they've got a long, long,long, looooooooooooong list of 'em! The whole world can't forget this -- what makes these jokers think God would? ha ha!

Just look at Madonna:
"I was a buffoon and an idiot until the age of 40"

Saccharinist translation: I did everyone and anyone I could, repeatedly and often, until the age of 40, then decided to start a family and find a way to make the world and my children forget that I am a world-class slut"

and Cat Stevens (now known as Yusuf Islam - ha ha!):

"Mr Islam doesn't speak with women except his wife. Least of all if they don't wear a headscarf. Things like that only happen via an intermediary."

Saccharinist translation: Mr Islam is a horny mo fo and, due to decades of intense promiscuity the likes of which Hugh Hefner can only dream of, no longer trusts himself in the presence of women of any kind, but especially those who have not covered those long, shiny, sexy, irrestible strands of hair, mainly because without a veil he is more likely to recognize them.


Iranians Expose Western Hypocrisy (again)

It amusing watching as the Americans and Brits fabricate another "Iran hostage crisis" scenario out of Iranian efforts to expose the hypocrisy of the US, UK, UN and every other self-righteous, prejudiced, violent, uncivilized 'U' out there.

These British sailor pawns know they were in Iranian waters. The UK government knows it. The US government knows it and only a scattering of violently ignorant and prejudiced people on both sides of the Atlantic still believe that this is a "hostage" situation.

And speaking of hostages, what about those Iranians the US nabbed in Iraq a couple months ago? Come to think of it,

- what about the 26 million hostages the US and UK have taken in Iraq?

- what about the over 400 hostages in Guantanamo Bay?

- what about the billions of hostages worldwide that are suffering in poverty on a daily basis because of US and UK (U SUK) foreign policy and economic holocaust?

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Thursday, March 29, 2007

Telehost: Saccharinist in Urban Dictionary

Well, another landmark in Saccharinist history (there would, no doubt, be more if I bothered to actually make an effort to publicize this site beyond the handful of you who I've remembered to tell about it):

The Saccharinist has now officially been included in the Urban Dictionary for coining the term "telehost" -- check it out:

1. telehost

a television personality who seemingly performs the duties of a journalist but whose "interviews" involve condescending political attacks on non-Western leaders, and "serious" sit-downs with famous vacant personalities such as Britney Spears. A telehost is generally unintelligent, uninformed, has an agenda (instead of being impartial as a journalist should be), uses journalism as a means toward fame and fortune, and has no detectable journalistic integrity.

"Let's get the obvious out of the way on this one: Diane Sawyer is a low-grade telehost who has the intelligence of a doormat...

-- excerpt from The Saccharinist entry "Round 2: Ahmadinejad vs. Sawyer"

Examples include Diane Sawyer, Christiane Amanpour, Bill O'Reilly, and well, most of the idiots on American news channels.
If you want to support TELEHOST, click on the THUMBS UP icon on this word entry to keep it real...


Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Brits Admit It

The only female British navy personnel admits on Iranian TV on 28 March that she and her crew had indeed "trespassed into their waters"

"Obviously we trespassed into their waters. They were very friendly and
very hospitable, very thoughtful, good people. They explained to us why we had been arrested. There was no aggression, no hurt, no harm. They were very, very compassionate."

-- Quoth the Seaman: Iran is More

The captured British navy personnel had only good things to say about Iranians, proving, as usual, that Iran is much more than Western media reports and warmongering leaders make it out to be.

How much do you wanna bet that if the roles were reversed and Iranian seamen had been caught by British, or better yet, American, authorities they'd have been physically, verbally and mentally abused and probably tortured?

Another tally on the scoreboard of who's the biggest terrorist of all.

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The 15 Captured Brits

I have one thing to say on this matter:

It is fascinating how the "coalition" forces (i.e. the Anglo-American warmongers) are spinning Iran's legitimate right to take action to defend itself against the invasive presence of nearby hostile occupiers into an aggravated assault on innocent navy personnel who, for some unexplained reason, were patrolling a sensitive waterway "checking" civilian ships.

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Thursday, March 22, 2007

The "Fact" is...

...............................................................this is in "fact" a black man, believe it or not

C.P. Scott, the former editor of the Manchester Guardian newspaper, once said (apparently) that "facts are sacred" -- a "fact" I just came across which got me thinking: what truly constitutes a fact?

Think about it.

News reports of someone's death are replete with uncertainties -- oftentimes, the only thing you can be certain of is that the person is dead -- but even that is uncertain at times!

How old are you? Is that a fact? What does time even mean?

What's your name? Is that a fact? Was that always your name? Will that remain your name? Is that your only name? Can the same "fact" have variations?

How can facts be sacred if they are fluid, undefined, and even uncertain? I guess that brings us to the answer (and question) at the heart of all of this: the only fact we can be close to certain of is change -- that change is inevitable and natural and therefore nothing is sacred for long.


Hill Clinton: Big Brother's Nasty Sister

A lot of Americans want to see a female President in their lifetime, but somehow Hillary Clinton is more fem-bot than feminine.

Plus she's a Clinton and by now any self-respecting progressive knows this familiar conservative wolf in progressive lamb's guise. It is precisely the brand of highly conservative "liberalism" unveiled and pushed by the Clintons in the early 1990's which paved the warpath and missile-guided the way to that next level of conservatism -- the shameless kind -- that the Bush-Cheney league dropped on the face of humanity as we know it. In short, without conservative Clinton there never could have been blood-thirstily-conservative Bush.

And now you've got an America that is so conservative that it's run by self-hating sadists who are so fundamentally engrossed in their own dogma that they can't see they've become exactly the thing they despise the most: aggressively desperate followers of an ancient Middle Eastern religion whose core values are hard pressed to meet the living standards of 1500 years ago, let alone today. That's right, Americans are fundos without a cause.

Who knows who Barack Obama really is -- and who cares? he'd do no better than any fool who got his or her hands on the apex of human governmental power as we know it today -- but what he is, we do know: a more than amusing threat to an election that was previously a Clinton stronghold.

Behold this YouTube ad characterizing Hill Clinton as 1984's Big Brother -- the guy who made the ad has been -- with 3rd-cousin-removed intimacy, no less -- related to the Obama campaign and outed as a practitioner of dirty-tricks politicking. Whatever. The ad is hilarious and dude's got talent. Besides, who on this planet ever said politics isn't dirty? I thought so.


Noroozetan Pirooz! Sal-e No Mobarak!

Happy Iranian New Year!
May this be a year full of love, health, and sweet, sweet success!
- The Saccharinist


Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The Spring of Bushler's Discontent

Four years ago today, Herr Bushler and his cohort Herr Blerr decided to prove to the world that there is no such thing as international law, human rights conventions, or public opinion.

Then they bombed Iraq.

Less than a month and a half later, Bushler announced that "major combat operations in Iraq have ended." A staged rally was sponsored and Saddam Hussein's statue was knocked to the ground (the man who was an integral part of that event stated to the London Guardian yesterday that "I really regret bringing down the statue. The Americans are worse than the dictatorship. Every day is worse than the previous day."), and all seemed well in Bushburg for about half a second.

Then the war never ended.

And so, an estimated 65,000 Iraqis have been killed; hundreds of thousands of Iraqis have been physically wounded -- millions having been psychologically damaged for a lifetime that will be passed on to their children, too; 3,218 US military personnel have been killed (now outnumbering the total number of Americans who were killed on 9/11); at least 24,000 US military personnel have been wounded, many (if not most, if not all) to the point where they will never live normal lives again; and at least 389 American civilians have been killed. And of course, there is Afghanistan, but that's just another chapter in the same story.

What is even worse than all of this physical destruction of the human body is the unfathomable destruction of the human spirit -- the uncountable number of people, not just in Iraq, who now have hate in their hearts and who will pass this hate on to their family, their neighbors, their children, their children's children: The Americans who have been taught to not try to relate to anyone, even their own families; the Americans who have been injected with the virus of institutional racism; the Americans who have turned to fundamentalism in one Abrahamic religion in order to better hate another Abrahamic religion; the rest of the world who have witnessed all of this damage with disdain.

I've done my duty: I've provided you information on what's going on. You've done your duty by seeking this information. Spring is here now. We've been watering the seeds together: let's watch, hopefully, as new life take shape...

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Friday, March 16, 2007

300 Reasons Hollywood Sleeps With the Devil

.........................................................Ancient Iranian Soldier by Faraz Shanyar (Source:

For all the dimwits out there who can only identify the politics in a film when it slip-slaps them across the face like JFK or Syriana, here's a hint: when Hollywood directors and producers openly admit to collaboration and cooperation with the Pentagon, amongst other branches of the US government and Jack Valenti, head of the Motion Picture Association of America for 38 years till 2004, was a perpetual presence in Washington DC, and the US Army is turning to Hollywood for security advice, well, hmmm, maybe there's a relationship there. You think?

But it looks like Iranians have to once again come to the rescue and teach the world a thing or two about the realities of the United States government -- it's not enough that the Iranian government and arguably a majority of Iranians both domestically and internationally have to constantly point out that the Bush administration are a bunch of sadistic nincompoops (the worst breed of nincompoop, by the way), now we have to demonstrate that Hollywood is in bed with them, too!

Just consider the recent protests by the Iranian government and Iranians on the internet who are against the misrepresentation and ridiculous portrayal of Iranians in the Hollywood film "300".

First of all, let's get this little nugget straight: Iran has always been called "Iran" by Iranians -- it's the West, first the Greeks and then the British and their sheep, who insisted on calling "Iran" by the name "Persia" which inaccurately referred to the entire nation by the name of one of its states, "Pars," because it happened to be the site of Persepolis and other hellenized monikers. Ipso facto, anything to do with "Persia" or "Persians" is a reference to Iran. Thankfully, in 1935, Reza Shah corrected this ignorance by deeming that Iran insists on being called Iran, and not Persia.

Now then, taking into consideration the hilarious demonization of Iran in the last few years (funny how the US government took a break from haranguing Iran with accusations during all those years when mass executions were taking place and times were as tough as now, if not worse, in Iran), it doesn't take a stretch of the imagination to realize the reasons behind wanting to demonize ancient Iranians in a Hollywood blockbuster -- hey, if you can't make the contemporary ones look bad, then abuse history, eh?

Since Hollywood has been demonizing various groups for a long, long time, it's not surprising anymore. What is annoying is that anyone still exists out there who doesn't believe that it's happening. For the rest of us, there's this marvellous Google bomb by Iranian artist Pendar Yousefi -- proving once again that an Iranian with an internet connection is an unbeatable force to reckon with.

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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Poor Man's Journalist: Christi-yawn

Yes, I know it's shocking that the Saccharinist has, up till now, limited analysis of Christiane Amanpour (aka Christi-yawn A-poor-man) to mere jibes in select posts. So, without further delay, here is my first-ever post focused exclusively on this ingrown butt hair of Western journalism -- ah! where else but a blog can that jewel of a description be published?

Simply put, she is an incompetent journalist, if the word can even be applied to her, a telehost, who has used her "career" to mingle with international politics and make something of a life that was headed no where until she slept with the "right" guys at college. We won't dwell on her manliness, her aggression toward the entire Middle East or her direct ties to the US government (be they as weak as they are these days since her husband, Scarface, has been passing time between Democratic presidents posing as a journalist himself) despite the fact that journalists are supposed to be independent.

What we will focus on is her continual and longstanding use of the country she despises the most -- namely Iran -- as a footstool for advancing (or at times, maintaining) her farcical job as the resident "expert" on promoting US foreign policy at CNN (the Conservative Nepotism Network) -- a job made all the more easy considering Clinton and Bush had very little policy differences, just a rather divergent means of implementation.

Take a look at how this queen of condescension -- hate Arafat all you like, but at least he had the decency to teach this tool a lesson -- treats non-Westerners in this video clip of her showing her true colors at a news conference in Iran with members of the Iranian press. Amanpour is exactly the type of tool the US and UK governments have thrived and survived on for centuries: treasonous sell-outs who'll do anything for a piece of the pie. Surely it would be too much to wish that she gets her just desserts, so instead we here at the Saccharinist will remain content knowing that this poor man's journalist is really freakin' unattractive and time hasn't been on her side... hmmm... justice works in mysterious ways!

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