Madonna & Cat Stevens: World Class Sluts

Keep your eye out for middle-aged born-again religious zealots: most of them have a deepseated reason for desperately and intensely seeking forgiveness for their sins: they've got a long, long,long, looooooooooooong list of 'em! The whole world can't forget this -- what makes these jokers think God would? ha ha!

Just look at Madonna:
"I was a buffoon and an idiot until the age of 40"

(Source)

Saccharinist translation: I did everyone and anyone I could, repeatedly and often, until the age of 40, then decided to start a family and find a way to make the world and my children forget that I am a world-class slut"


and Cat Stevens (now known as Yusuf Islam - ha ha!):

"Mr Islam doesn't speak with women except his wife. Least of all if they don't wear a headscarf. Things like that only happen via an intermediary."

(Source)

Saccharinist translation: Mr Islam is a horny mo fo and, due to decades of intense promiscuity the likes of which Hugh Hefner can only dream of, no longer trusts himself in the presence of women of any kind, but especially those who have not covered those long, shiny, sexy, irrestible strands of hair, mainly because without a veil he is more likely to recognize them.