Oscars MEGA Fashion Post
Helen Mirren - winner, best actress
Mirren achieved great things in this snow white gold leaf dress, not least that she looked stunning and sophisticated for her age (with no evidence of plasticating surgery, I might add!), and she looked comfortable (no small feat at this event!). While the Saccharinist has little regard for the real Queen or the film Mirren starred in, there is no doubt that Mirren performed at the top of her field for the win.
Cate is not a conventional beauty, certainly, but she has a classic look which she always, without fail, matches with an elegant dress. This crystalline gown is no exception -- she looks like a star.
As we have documented in the past, frail pale Nicole has gone way overboard on re-molding her face. Fortunately for you, it's not thoroughly evident in this picture but just for the rundown: her lips are so blimped up you can see the inside of her top lip curled over her bottom lip, her forehead and cheeks have lost all sensitivity and spend most conversations at complete standstill, her eyes take turns blinking and her nose is just a few notches away from Michael Jackson's skeletal airholes. But moving right along to fashion, Nicole has always complained about being a stick (which she is) but variety makes the fashion world interesting and what would designers do if they didn't have tall sticks like Nicole to dress? Her gown gets 5 stars for ravishing color and as always, she looks elegant and refined. It's a shame more women don't wear bright colors to these events.
Fresh off her win for Walk the Line last year and a terrible divorce, Reese looked absolutely flowery in this finely woven silk dress which literally looks as if she's been delicately wrapped with the petals of a violet. It's simply beautiful and looks soothing to the touch. I'm increasingly surprised at Reese's cosmopolitan sense of style considering her Southern homegirl roots. Well done!
Jessica is a nobody as far as I'm concerned -- I've never seen her in any film (though I heard she was quite wonderful in the Illusionist). She's not particularly beautiful with that wide grin and strangely down tilted nose, but her choice of dress has put her on my list to watch. The color alone is magnificent -- just beautiful! and the style is pure elegance. You can never have enough color on a red carpet!
From a hurtful loss on American Idol one year to an Academy Award winning actress the next, this girl has truly lived the dream -- let's just hope she's not broken to bits when she realizes how short Hollywood's attention span is. She exhibited some true talent in Dreamgirls and deserved a win for performance (since so many times this award is given as a duty to a known actress that didn't particularly perform well). Sadly, however, she chose to wear fecal brown for her win -- what are these people thinking? Brown? Brown is the amalgamation of all colors, why do you think a certain natural product is that color? Have you ever played with finger paints in school and mixed them all up? What do you get? BROWN! It's a poor choice most days of the week, and certainly on Oscar night. I will, however, give her bonus points for a dress with pockets! That's brilliant!
JLo has a big butt, but she dresses it well, as we all know. This dress is straight up maternity, of course, which I'm not a fan of, but it looks elegant and flowy on her and that's good enough to pass the test. The bejeweled neckline also gets bonus points for being creative and glimmery!
Jada is a very interesting character -- an extremely intelligent, strong and creative woman -- and that alone brings a shine to her demeanor. But she also has a very keen sense of style and as far as I can tell, has never disappointed on the red carpet. This gold corseted gown is a beautiful 18k gold color and is fitted to perfection (if not a little tight). My only complaint is the flat-chested design on top which rather erases any curvaceousness necessary for a truly feminine look.
Babel was a masterpiece and we all knew it wouldn't win any top prizes at an American film occasion (and especially on the night the Academy had decided to honor little Marty Scorsese -- though that was well-deserved, I might add). Rinko brought some charm to the common black sleeveless corset -- with some lace and beautiful embroidery work. But what really styled up this gown was her carefully waved coif -- cute.
Love in the Family
Now there are some people who take the opportunity of attending the Oscars as a great chance to share something special with the people they love. The following stars shined bright last night because they shined with their family -- I totally respect that.
Kirsten Dunst and her brother
Quincy Jones and his daughter Rashida
Quincy gets bonus points for making men's fashion a little more interesting than usual -- and doing it well.
The Leading Men
As we all know, men's fashion on the red carpet is boring -- and this year was no exception.
Djimon tried to razz it up with a bit of satin on his collar and on his trousers. Sorry! It's still a boring all-black suit.
If I didn't know any better I'd have asked Clivey for 5 blue chips and my change. The addition of a black shirt to an already boring black suit is a fashion embarrassment, I'd say.
He's come a long way from Marky Mark -- his performance in the Departed was his best ever, I'd say. But unless Marky is about to refill my water glass, I'd say this here ensemble is a mega waste of my time.
We all know he's a great actor and there is no doubt that his time will come for an Oscar, but in the meantime, can Leo please do something about his hair? His name may be Italian, but he doesn't look it and therefore has no excuse for lookin' like a Don on Oscar night. P.s. save the satin for your bedsheets!
Labels: Arts and Ents