Sunday, September 21, 2008

Dictator McCain on 60 Minutes: "I Disagree With What the American People Want"

John McCain openly declared on 60 Minutes tonight that he does not care what the MAJORITY of the American people want.

In short (pun intended, as always), John McCain proved his profound qualifications for dictatorship of the United States of America.

As if it were not enough that John McCain is

- freakin' old (the oldest ever candidate)

- possessed of debilitating anger issues

- ailing from a deadly form of skin cancer

- convinced that a 1st term Governor of the 4th least populated state in the US is
"absolutely ready to be President"

he has now unabashedly -- YES UNABASHEDLY -- admitted that he is a dictator who does not give a turd what the American people want. Read on for the transcript of his soon-to-be unforgettable quote:

Q: Journalist: "I wonder at what point do you stop doing what you think is right and you start doing what the majority of the American people want?" (60 Minutes journalist Scott Pelley)

A: John McCain: "Well, again, I disagree with what the majority of the American people want."

In the same interview, he admitted that even though he declared that as President he would fire the SEC Chairman knowing that the President does not have such powers, he would still find a way to get him fired. Translation: "Dammit! When I'm Angry Somebody's Gonna Get Fired! Now!"

Plus it emerged today that John McCain and his bankroller -- oops!, wife -- own no less than 13 cars -- 3 of which are not American made. That, compared to the Obama family's one car.

Wake up America. Wake up and smell the crook.

For the latest Saccharinist coverage of
Selection '08 click here.


Saturday, September 13, 2008

Cindy McCain, Sarah Palin Bitch Fight: Episode 1

For all of you out there who are legitimately concerned about the oldest-ever US Presidential candidate having nominated the dumbest and one of the youngest ever VP's, set your mind to rest.

Cindy McCain is to the rescue.

Ain't nothin' like a good ol' fashioned bitch fight to save the world. See, contrary to the words that are coming out of her mouth, Cindy "Bitch Squint" McCain just does not care for her husband's
VP choice and it all comes down to a little thing called: Bitchin'.

That's right, they hate each other, Cindy and Sarah. And it didn't take much more than the shivering cold hug they gave each other at the RNC acceptance platform to give us all a nice peek of the nastiness to come. We all know women just don't along as well as they should -- probably because they're smart enough to smell a rat (or a bitch, as it were) when they see one.

Now, the ladies of politics are certifiable bitch-whackers -- you've got to be to survive the world of diplomacy, or well, the world at all as a matter of fact. But they're only human and what words don't reveal, a wicked smile, a sideways glance or a little bit of extra leg simply and clearly will.

Welcome to the first Episode of Cindy McCain, Sarah Palin Bitch Fight where we here at the Saccharinist take a close look at recent photographs of Cindy and Sarah showing the world how a picture is worth a thousand words of hatred, envy and all-out bitch war...

Exhibit A:
RNC acceptance speech, platform on which all parties attempt to act nice. Oops!

Exhibit B:
RNC convention, actin' sweet

Exhibit C:
Can't face each other at the RNC stage. Notice obvious rift in physical form.

Exhibit D:
Already in Need of Mediator

For the latest Saccharinist coverage of
Selection '08 click here.


Thursday, September 11, 2008

Obama and Shorty McCain: The Height of Difference

Behold the latest pictures of Barack Obama and Shorty McCain.
And do keep in mind this is with McCain wearing lifts. Obama and Shorty jointly attended the NYC September 11th ceremony today.

Yes, Barack Obama is considerably taller than John McCain -- but then again most American men are. At a height of 5'7" Shorty McCain is well below the average American male's height of 5'10".

Unfortunately for McCain, his debilitating anger problems, his fiery annoyance at "insignificant things" (that's a quote from his own doctor!), and his serious issues with adultery (hello Vicki Iseman?) are all classic symptoms of that manifestly perilous (not to mention hilarious!) condition called the Napoleonic Complex. Most commonly known as The Short Man's Complex.

Can't wait till the Presidential candidate debates!

For the latest Saccharinist coverage of
Selection '08 click here.


Wednesday, September 10, 2008

John McCain's Medical Records: Palin Will Be President

Deadly Skin Cancer -- Prescription Strength Arthritis -- Debilitating Anger Problems

John McCain is literally not fit to be president.

He has severe skin cancer, advanced arthritis, high cholesterol and debilitating anger problems that beg the question: do Americans realize just how close VP candidate Sarah Palin is to actually becoming President of the United States of America?

John McCain is on cancer watch -- it is well known (though rarely repeated in the US media) that he has a deadly form of recurrent skin cancer.

To top that off, McCain also has an extreme form of anger management issues that have been (and may well still be -- that information has not been provided to the American public) treated with extensive psychological therapy. His anger management problems are so serious that he once lost his temper in a split second and called his wife a "cunt" and a "trollop" in front of members of his staff and possibly also the media while on the campaign trail.

McCain has had a high number of his lymph nodes removed -- you know, those things that are part of the body's immunity and defense system against disease and death -- and has had such extensive surgery to remove his massive skin cancers that some experts believe he has the worst possible case of skin cancer.

McCain finally released his medical records in May 2008. Here are some points of interest:

-- his psychological spokesman admits that McCain -- who has a well known (but again rarely reported) problem with a massive temper and severe anger management issues -- has not had a psychological exam since 1993. Let's repeat that: an individual who himself admits to being a survivor of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and who has a well known history of anger and temperamental issues of a violent and abnormal nature, John McCain has not had a psychological examination for 15 years now. Sounds pretty scary. Does the American public think it's time he got his psych check-up?

--McCain has severe arthritis for which he is given extra-strength prescription painkillers and which, along with his war injuries, have created some deformations in his shoulders, arms and legs. McCain cannot function on a daily basis without his prescription painkillers even while his arthritis continues to worsen (there is no permanent cure for arthritis.)

--In the last 15 years, McCain has had 4 extensive surgeries to remove skin cancers from his face and neck -- including an unusually high number of his lymph nodes. According to these medical records he released, he last had a severe form of cancer -- of the kind that risks spreading to other body parts -- in 2000.

--McCain has a severe and recurrent form of skin cancer -- possibly the worst known form of skin cancer -- that is so serious he is checked for new cancers every few months.

--In addition to the prescription painkillers he takes for his arthritis, McCain also takes prescription medication for high cholesterol and is treated for polyps that have recurred on his colon.

--if McCain were to undergo another cancer surgery -- which is almost inevitable -- during his presidency, transfer of executive power would be made to Sarah Palin. Let's hope another horrific national emergency doesn't occur while McCain's under general anaesthetic!

Should America care that the oldest ever candidate for President has a deadly and recurrent cancer and has just nominated a woman with less than 1 year of political office as a Governor?

Should America be worried that Sarah Palin is a doctor's visit away from being the President of the most powerful country in the world.

Should America be worried that a man with his finger on the proverbial red button has such an outrageously uncontrollable temper that his judgment fails him on even simple tasks? (His own doctor admitted that McCain has been working for years on overcoming anger attacks over small things.)

Sure seems so.

For the latest Saccharinist coverage of
Selection '08 click here.


Friday, September 05, 2008

Adultery and John McCain: Don't Forget Vicki Iseman

Whatever happened to Vicki Iseman? Perhaps her family members in Indiana County, Pennsylvania can at least tell us where she is.

See, there's a good chance that Vicki Iseman -- the 41 year old single blond who had a special relationship with John McCain -- has been paid quite well to keep a low profile these days.

However, it seems that won't be enough for John McCain as Miss Iseman, a lobbyist for Alcalde & Fay, is very much on the radar of a whole host of people who know who John McCain really is: a fiery tempered adulterer who is not as adept as he thinks at covering up his past and not-so-past mistakes.

For the latest Saccharinist coverage of
Selection '08 click here.


Cindy McCain's Inexpensive $300,000 RNC Outfit

No wonder John McCain can't recall how many homes he has -- he has more money than he can count -- courtesy of his wife Cindy McCain.

John McCain and the Republican party are clearly not everyday Americans -- and they have no idea what the US troops and their underpaid and struggling families are enduring. They can't possibly know what it means to be an average American today: someone who's struggling with bills, outrageous gas prices and day to day survival.

Just ask Cindy McCain why her outfit at the RNC this week costs $300,000 -- the cost of 1 or 2 houses -- over 10 times the cost of the average American's annual salary. Yes, Cindy McCain spent several years of most American's salary on an outfit for one event on one night. And she didn't blink for it.

Let's see how many Americans care more about abortion rights than about the fact that they and their families are barely surviving in the richest country in the world. The Republicans have long banked on the easy route to winning votes: convincing Americans that religious issues that barely have an impact on their daily lives are of higher priority than healthcare, income, and daily existence.

Let's see how far Shorty McCain gets on continuing this conservative tradition.

For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.