Yes Sir-kel!

As if playing lovey-dovey with Tony "Evil Eye" Blair wasn't enough, the Bushmeister has gyrated his G8 appearance into a Love Fest the likes of which even Bill Clinton would surely have spurned. Yes, that's right folks, George W. Bush touched Angela "my shulters ah ay-kink Herr Bushmann!" Merkel. And we're not talking a harmless handshake -- he actually gave the ogre, I mean, woman (I use the term loosely) an impromptu massage! Click here to see video proof of the latest development at the G8 summit.



What was that, honey? Are you calling for me? For me?!

Is this what you want? With two hands? Like so? Please tell me what you want babydoll!

I'm gonna just dig right in baby... Easy! Easy...it's alright now...Papa's here...That's right...

There now! Don't tense up on me! Let it all go schatzi...don't you worry your little, I mean, big, ol' self about nothin'....Voot you like a little wiener? Papa's gotta little wiener for you!

-Nein! Get avay! I don't like to be touched by men! You're not my Papa! HEEEEEELLLLP!

-Nah nah! Don't get all excited. I didn't mean nothin' by it. I'm not a sexual harnesser -- I swear it ain't me!

-Ooh! Wait, I take it all back -- I loved every moment of it -- all 5 seconds. Maybe hubby was right: touching can be fun! Will I ever see you again?

-You gotta be kiddin' lady...I'm no fool! Well, I am, but damn you're ugly!