Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Lion Answers for God

(Photo: Reuters. Lions at the Kiev Zoo a day after one of them had a Ukrainian for dinner)

It's always nice to know that there are a few brave soldiers out there who are willing to sacrifice their lives for the sake of advancing human knowledge. Take the 45-year-old man who was killed in the lion's den at the Ukraine national zoo on Sunday. Yes, there are those whose faith in God is so secure that they will go to any length (or lion's den) to prove it. According to Kiev police spokesman Volodymyr Polishchuk, the Ukrainian man, an ethnic Azerbaijani, (now, why does it have to be so? I can already imagine the Turk jokes piling up in Iran) "shouted 'God will save me, if he exists', lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions."

Only moments later, he got his answer when "a lioness [must women always be the one with the answers?] went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery." Thank you, anonymous Azerbaijani Ukrainian, for ending millennia of confusion and arbitrary obsession -- you've finally proven, in a way no one else could ever have dreamed of...that people are very stupid indeed.