Bushler Sleeps Alone

Laura Bush didn't mind sharing a bed with a mental retard. (probably cuz she didn't notice)

She didn't mind sharing a bed with a war criminal. (probably cuz she can't tell the difference)

But she finally drew the line at a drunk. (cuz she used to be one herself)

That's right folks -- Herr Bushler's sleeping alone these days -- George W. Bush has marriage problems, what a surprise. NOT!

According to the gossip hounds on the Internet, the Missus -- Frau Bushler (hey! she's guilty by association) -- has checked into the Hay-Adams luxury boutique hotel in Washington DC because Herr Bushler has once again returned to his roots as Herr Boozer.

Once a drunk, always a drunk and if anyone's got something he wants to drink away, it's George W. Bushler -- 'ceptin the drink ain't gonna make Iraq go away, just like it didn't make Daddy Bush go away. See, with a daddy like that, and a mommy that looks like a grandaddy, Bushler started drinking young. Trouble is, after claiming he found Jesus and stopped the drink, convincing a whole swarm of lonely, bitter conservatives across America that despite every other ball-faced lie he's lived in his life he managed to become a God's honest Christian, the last thing he needs is to lose the nutty rightwingers who are the last barrier to his demise.

But at this point in his "career" and her pathetic, unremarkable life, Laura Bush couldn't give a damn. So she's packed up and left. "She just couldn't take it anymore," according to an inside source. "She's had it." (Or she hasn't, for a long, long, time, if you know what I mean!)