Meredith Kercher: Friends Left Her to Die

Arline Kercher, Meredith's mother, being comforted at a trial in Perugia, Italy. (Source: AP photo by Antonio Calanni)


At this very moment there are millions of people suffering immensely -- children orphaned in Iraq, kidnapped children prostituted in the United States, refugees under attack as they seek refuge, and millions of people starving worldwide.

But somehow, a sensational trial grips international attention and everybody forgets about the bigger, sadder things happening in the world because it's easier to grasp just one person's fate and follow that story to its end.

The murder trial of 21-year-old Meredith Kercher -- she would have been 22 this year, but her age will forever be 21 now -- is front page news in many places around the world and it's hard to fathom why. Though it's equally hard to fathom why not: a young girl was brutalized and tortured by her comrades in her own home -- and left to die.

Over the past year, Kercher's roommate -- 21-year-old Amanda Knox of the United States -- and Knox's 2-week old boyfriend 24-year-old Raffaelle Sollecito, and their drug dealer 21-year-old Rudy Guede have all 3 done everything they can to avoid any responsibility for the loss of this young lady. And not one of them at any time took any action to help her in any way.

Today, it has been announced that Guede is guilty of Kercher's murder and of sexual assault -- the judge has sentenced him to 30 years in prison. In addition the judge formally charged Knox and Sollecito of murder and sexual assault and the added charge of theft -- Guede was relieved of any charges of theft -- and announced their trial would commence December 4th.

But the one detail that nobody has yet mentioned in the news coverage of this entire trial is the one question that is on everybody's mind, not how could these people have done this, not why they are trying their best to diminish any responsibility for it, but how anyone could knowingly leave someone to die like this.

In legal terms would they be in less trouble if they had tried to at least save her by calling an ambulance? It seems likely: she may well have survived and then this wouldn't have been a murder trial as it is now. Is this about legal terms or about moral terms? It would be about moral terms if these 3 individuals were actually normal people but as the trial has proceeded it has become more and more apparent that Knox is some sort of raging sociopath, Sollecito has strange emotional and mental issues and Guede is the only one of the 3 that has any idea that what he did was wrong.

So today we will blame Guede because he is normal and he could have done something. Perhaps tomorrow we will find out more about why Knox did this and why she doesn't seem to have any remorse and why Sollecito was obviously a disturbed young man but his family and the few friends he had did not bother to notice until it was too late.

The only thing we do know for sure is that these 3 young people were all secretly living miserable lives and Meredith Kercher was the one who sacrificed her life to let the world know.


For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

Austria's Haider Was Gay, Lover Admits

Petzner, right, admitted this week that he and Haider had been together for 5 years.

Why is it always the hateful, bigoted, angry white politicians who are fiercely closeted gays?

The latest conservative homosexual was outed posthumously this week when Austria's neo-nazi poster boy Joerg Haider was outed by his lover of 5 years, his replacement party leader Stefan Petzner.

"He was the man of my life," Petzner said this week of Haider, adding that Haider's wife and the mother of his two children was comfortably aware of their "special relationship."

This could explain why 58-year-old Haider was caught drinking in a gay bar shortly before he took off the drunk driving spree that cost him his life. Petzner, 27, has now been fired from his position as successor to Haider of the neo-nazi party -- whose platform, amongst other things, stood against homosexuality -- for outing Haider.

Note to the public: be wary of the most vile of your politicians -- they are probably huge hypocrites who do exactly the opposite of everything they tell you to do.

Hmmm....hateful, bigoted, angry white politician....who's next to be outed? John McCain anyone?

For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

Karl Rove Citizen's Arrest in San Francisco: Video of Herr Rover Shoving a Lady

The latest event in Karl Rove's political schedule was another attempted citizen's arrest.

Following up on the July 25, 2008 Karl Rove Citizen's arrest in Iowa, this week, a 58-year-old woman protester, Janine Boneparth of the commendable organization Code Pink, attempted to slide handcuffs on Herr Rover -- an ingenious direct action citizen's arrest attempt.

As usual, the citizen attempting an arrest was rebuffed by the law -- though not without a harsh shove by Herr Rover himself. Nothing like beating up girls to make a boy feel tough, eh?

Watch video here as the Herr Karl Rovermeister actually shoves a lady in the gut on stage with a live audience! (the Shover is at 0:34)

Shameless -- but we already knew that.

Sounds like one more offense to add to his long list of violent behaviors against humanity.

This is just weeks after over 300 protesters and concerned Americans detained Rove for crimes against humanity at an event in Claremont, California.

Impressive work by concerned and active citizens. Yes, most criminals do get away with horrific crimes against humanity (anybody still remember Henry "Genocidal Maniac" Kissinger?)

At least this one isn't getting off so easy.


For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

Just Palin Nasty: Corruption & Destruction in Wasilla

Sometimes (read: most times) the best source of news isn't the mainstream media, but the people themselves.

If you already understand that Sarah Palin is a divisive, hate-filled, unknowledgeable, unintelligent, high school bitch, that's great news America.

But if you still don't get how horrible she is (and the fact that she and her friends were the ones who made your life miserable in high school), then watch this off-the-cuff interview with two Alaskans who know Palin and know what she has done to Alaska and what she could do to America and the world.

Incredibly, as mayor of the little town (village would be a better term) of Wasilla (population just over 6,000 -- that's right! she was the mayor of a town with a population less than a Yanni concert audience) she managed to destroy it.

-- she mowed down hundreds of acres of untouched woodland to create a mega Wal-mart in this village that is big enough to serve suburban Chicago and is the biggest Wal-mart in the entire state.

-- she used 27 million dollars in earmarks (which she obtained through her Washington lobbyist friends) to build, amongst other things, a mega sports complex for this village -- a complex that even metropolitan places like San Francisco don't even have -- which was actually built on someone else's land. Then she left town before Wasilla's Multi-Use Sports Complex was finished and left the burden for Wasillans to deal with -- including a $72,000 shortfall in the town's library budget. No surprise there.

-- to make space for her mega sports complex and the mega parking lots for it and the Wal-mart she mowed down hundreds more acres of beautiful natural woodland, some of which she had not even required the proper rights to.

-- she ruined the camping and cabin atmosphere of what used to be a popular Alaska destination for nature and relaxation

This woman is dangerous and her beauty-pagaent credentials seem to have a dummy effect on the old white geezers of Washington (McCain anyone?).

Beauty is the Beast folks -- don't be fooled by Sarah Palin's fauxksy accent and lipsmacking enthusiasm.


For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

Dictator McCain on 60 Minutes: "I Disagree With What the American People Want"

John McCain openly declared on 60 Minutes tonight that he does not care what the MAJORITY of the American people want.

In short (pun intended, as always), John McCain proved his profound qualifications for dictatorship of the United States of America.

As if it were not enough that John McCain is

- freakin' old (the oldest ever candidate)

- possessed of debilitating anger issues

- ailing from a deadly form of skin cancer

- convinced that a 1st term Governor of the 4th least populated state in the US is
"absolutely ready to be President"

he has now unabashedly -- YES UNABASHEDLY -- admitted that he is a dictator who does not give a turd what the American people want. Read on for the transcript of his soon-to-be unforgettable quote:

Q: Journalist: "I wonder at what point do you stop doing what you think is right and you start doing what the majority of the American people want?" (60 Minutes journalist Scott Pelley)

A: John McCain: "Well, again, I disagree with what the majority of the American people want."

In the same interview, he admitted that even though he declared that as President he would fire the SEC Chairman knowing that the President does not have such powers, he would still find a way to get him fired. Translation: "Dammit! When I'm Angry Somebody's Gonna Get Fired! Now!"


Plus it emerged today that John McCain and his bankroller -- oops!, wife -- own no less than 13 cars -- 3 of which are not American made. That, compared to the Obama family's one car.

Wake up America. Wake up and smell the crook.


For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

Cindy McCain, Sarah Palin Bitch Fight: Episode 1

For all of you out there who are legitimately concerned about the oldest-ever US Presidential candidate having nominated the dumbest and one of the youngest ever VP's, set your mind to rest.

Cindy McCain is to the rescue.

Ain't nothin' like a good ol' fashioned bitch fight to save the world. See, contrary to the words that are coming out of her mouth, Cindy "Bitch Squint" McCain just does not care for her husband's VP choice and it all comes down to a little thing called: Bitchin'.

That's right, they hate each other, Cindy and Sarah. And it didn't take much more than the shivering cold hug they gave each other at the RNC acceptance platform to give us all a nice peek of the nastiness to come. We all know women just don't along as well as they should -- probably because they're smart enough to smell a rat (or a bitch, as it were) when they see one.

Now, the ladies of politics are certifiable bitch-whackers -- you've got to be to survive the world of diplomacy, or well, the world at all as a matter of fact. But they're only human and what words don't reveal, a wicked smile, a sideways glance or a little bit of extra leg simply and clearly will.

Welcome to the first Episode of Cindy McCain, Sarah Palin Bitch Fight where we here at the Saccharinist take a close look at recent photographs of Cindy and Sarah showing the world how a picture is worth a thousand words of hatred, envy and all-out bitch war...

Exhibit A:
RNC acceptance speech, platform on which all parties attempt to act nice. Oops!


Exhibit B:
RNC convention, actin' sweet


Exhibit C:
Can't face each other at the RNC stage. Notice obvious rift in physical form.


Exhibit D:
Already in Need of Mediator



For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

Obama and Shorty McCain: The Height of Difference

Behold the latest pictures of Barack Obama and Shorty McCain. And do keep in mind this is with McCain wearing lifts. Obama and Shorty jointly attended the NYC September 11th ceremony today.

Yes, Barack Obama is considerably taller than John McCain -- but then again most American men are. At a height of 5'7" Shorty McCain is well below the average American male's height of 5'10".

Unfortunately for McCain, his debilitating anger problems, his fiery annoyance at "insignificant things" (that's a quote from his own doctor!), and his serious issues with adultery (hello Vicki Iseman?) are all classic symptoms of that manifestly perilous (not to mention hilarious!) condition called the Napoleonic Complex. Most commonly known as The Short Man's Complex.

Can't wait till the Presidential candidate debates!

For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

John McCain's Medical Records: Palin Will Be President

Deadly Skin Cancer -- Prescription Strength Arthritis -- Debilitating Anger Problems

72-year-old John McCain is literally not fit to be president.

He has severe skin cancer, advanced arthritis, high cholesterol and debilitating anger problems that beg the question: do Americans realize just how close VP candidate Sarah Palin is to actually becoming President of the United States of America?

John McCain is on cancer watch -- it is well known (though rarely repeated in the US media) that he has a deadly form of recurrent skin cancer.

To top that off, McCain also has an extreme form of anger management issues that have been (and may well still be -- that information has not been provided to the American public) treated with extensive psychological therapy. His anger management problems are so serious that he once lost his temper in a split second and called his wife a "cunt" and a "trollop" in front of members of his staff and possibly also the media while on the campaign trail.

McCain has had a high number of his lymph nodes removed -- you know, those things that are part of the body's immunity and defense system against disease and death -- and has had such extensive surgery to remove his massive skin cancers that some experts believe he has the worst possible case of skin cancer.

McCain finally released his medical records in May 2008. Here are some points of interest:

-- his psychological spokesman admits that McCain -- who has a well known (but again rarely reported) problem with a massive temper and severe anger management issues -- has not had a psychological exam since 1993. Let's repeat that: an individual who himself admits to being a survivor of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and who has a well known history of anger and temperamental issues of a violent and abnormal nature, John McCain has not had a psychological examination for 15 years now. Sounds pretty scary. Does the American public think it's time he got his psych check-up?

--McCain has severe arthritis for which he is given extra-strength prescription painkillers and which, along with his war injuries, have created some deformations in his shoulders, arms and legs. McCain cannot function on a daily basis without his prescription painkillers even while his arthritis continues to worsen (there is no permanent cure for arthritis.)

--In the last 15 years, McCain has had 4 extensive surgeries to remove skin cancers from his face and neck -- including an unusually high number of his lymph nodes. According to these medical records he released, he last had a severe form of cancer -- of the kind that risks spreading to other body parts -- in 2000.

--McCain has a severe and recurrent form of skin cancer -- possibly the worst known form of skin cancer -- that is so serious he is checked for new cancers every few months.

--In addition to the prescription painkillers he takes for his arthritis, McCain also takes prescription medication for high cholesterol and is treated for polyps that have recurred on his colon.

--if McCain were to undergo another cancer surgery -- which is almost inevitable -- during his presidency, transfer of executive power would be made to Sarah Palin. Let's hope another horrific national emergency doesn't occur while McCain's under general anaesthetic!

Should America care that the oldest ever candidate for President has a deadly and recurrent cancer and has just nominated a woman with less than 1 year of political office as a Governor?

Should America be worried that Sarah Palin is a doctor's visit away from being the President of the most powerful country in the world.

Should America be worried that a man with his finger on the proverbial red button has such an outrageously uncontrollable temper that his judgment fails him on even simple tasks? (His own doctor admitted that McCain has been working for years on overcoming anger attacks over small things.)

Sure seems so.


For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

Adultery and John McCain: Don't Forget Vicki Iseman

Whatever happened to Vicki Iseman? Perhaps her family members in Indiana County, Pennsylvania can at least tell us where she is.

See, there's a good chance that Vicki Iseman -- the 41 year old single blond who had a special relationship with John McCain -- has been paid quite well to keep a low profile these days.

However, it seems that won't be enough for John McCain as Miss Iseman, a lobbyist for Alcalde & Fay, is very much on the radar of a whole host of people who know who John McCain really is: a fiery tempered adulterer who is not as adept as he thinks at covering up his past and not-so-past mistakes.


For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

Cindy McCain's Inexpensive $300,000 RNC Outfit

No wonder John McCain can't recall how many homes he has -- he has more money than he can count -- courtesy of his wife Cindy McCain.

John McCain and the Republican party are clearly not everyday Americans -- and they have no idea what the US troops and their underpaid and struggling families are enduring. They can't possibly know what it means to be an average American today: someone who's struggling with bills, outrageous gas prices and day to day survival.

Just ask Cindy McCain why her outfit at the RNC this week costs $300,000 -- the cost of 1 or 2 houses -- over 10 times the cost of the average American's annual salary. Yes, Cindy McCain spent several years of most American's salary on an outfit for one event on one night. And she didn't blink for it.

Let's see how many Americans care more about abortion rights than about the fact that they and their families are barely surviving in the richest country in the world. The Republicans have long banked on the easy route to winning votes: convincing Americans that religious issues that barely have an impact on their daily lives are of higher priority than healthcare, income, and daily existence.

Let's see how far Shorty McCain gets on continuing this conservative tradition.


For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

Old McCain Chooses Young, Taller Palin

Wow! John McCain suddenly looks even older than before!

Yes, he's chosen a 44 year old, former beauty queen as his running mate -- a woman with less than 2 years of experience in public office has been chosen as the person who will replace John McCain when -- and this is not an "if" -- he croaks in high office should the American public be so incomparably stupid as to elect him.

We couldn't have asked for a better candidate! And all credit to Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton for forcing the Republicans to choose a woman VP -- something they never would have dreamed of doing if Obama and Clinton hadn't upped the ante in this election and shouted from the mountaintops that the United States has a whole lot more people in it that aren't white men.

With the choice of Sarah Palin, not only does McCain look even more ancient than before -- he looks even shorter too! Ms Palin is a full two inches taller than 5'7"-with-lifts McCain -- and that's before she wears her heels!

To add to his woes, Mr McCain's pretty little history of massive adultery against his first wife will no doubt be a centerpiece of this election. And we all know Cindy McCain and Sarah Palin hate each other already -- let the bitch wars begin!

Well done again McCain -- you've made yourself look even older than before, set yourself up for intense discussion of your adulterous habits, eliminated any opportunity to criticize Obama for lack of experience and lost a horde of your base ultra conservative Republicans who would never vote for a woman VP.

And all in one little decision!

This election just gets better and better....

Mitt Romney, Tim Pawlenty: Height Comparisons with McCain

The talk around town is that John McCain might have whittled down his VP choices to Mitt Romney and Tim Pawlenty. We here at the Saccharinist decided it is time for a nice gallery of images showing just how miniature Mr McCain is compared to these two contenders. Enjoy!

John McCain Height: 5'7"
Mitt Romney Height: 6'2"
McCain-Romney Height Differential: 7"

Exhibit A. The infamous primary photo:



John McCain Height: 5'7"
Tim Pawlenty Height:6'0"
McCain-Pawlenty Height Differential: 5"

Exhibit A. John McCain straining neck to look up at Tim Pawlenty to shake his hand:


Exhibit B. Tim Pawlenty on stage with McCain -- possibly dancing a jig. Still looking enormously taller than the presidential candidate:


Exhibit C. John McCain shaking Tim Pawlenty's hand on the tarmac. Notice how McCain is straining to remain upright yet still looks tiny next to Pawlenty:




Click here for the Saccharinist's leading article on John McCain's height...

Click here for previous articles on John McCain VP Contender Heights...


For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

Brits Booed at Beijing Closing Ceremony

Amusingly, the Internet is rife with chatter about how the British sucked it up at the Beijing closing ceremony. Nobody can compete with China now.

The Chinese outdid themselves during this Olympics and the boring and embarrassingly uncreative Brits have no hope of even coming close to what will no doubt go down as the most incredible Olympics of our lifetime.

The Brits put on a cardboard pseudo-Stomp performance that had audiences worldwide yawning and wondering what more than sheer gaul could have propelled the British to once take over the world. A poorly designed, unattractive and seemingly malfunctioning double decker bus was the centerpiece of a little show they put on to introduce the world to how much they will embarrass themselves in 2012 when London hosts the next summer Olympics.

London's new mayor, that twittering idiot Boris Johnson who symbolizes so well the authenticity of a true social-climbing Brit (is there any other kind?) was just the icing on the cake of a performance so laughable that Leona Lewis was matched with Jimmy Page in a feebly arranged song number that nobody could hear and that had no bearing whatsoever on any theme relevant to Olympics, sports, the world, humanity, sportsmanship or any number of other obvious themes.

Well done Britain! Doubtless, most of the world was happy to see you soil yourself on the international stage. Even the dancers in the number looked embarrassed to be there.

Obama-Biden: Joe Biden is the Next VP

Joe Biden is Barack Obama's running mate and will be the next Vice President of the United States.... feel better now? Didn't think so...

Let's cut to the chase:

Obama needs the following criteria in his VP:

- a white man

- a long serving politician

- a foreign policy stronghold

- a known but not infamous name

- a maverick to out-maverick Shorty McCain who's really just an asshole who can beat the system cuz his daddy and grandaddy were big military men and his wifey's a multimillionaire heiress...

We here at the Saccharinist believe it will be the Obama-Biden ticket -- that's right, Joseph Biden is Barack Obama's running mate....Start your horses gentlemen...

Latest McCain VP: Who's Too Tall, Too Short, & Just the Right Height

Welcome to the latest installment of McCain VP Picks...(see below for an earlier version)...


Piyush "Bobby" Jindal --

As you know, the fraudulent "Bobby" Piyush Jindal is, fittingly, on a list of names being floated around as a possible McCain VP. Aside from the fact that the Republican party greedily snatches any minority who is a self-hater and a deceitful waste of space (see Condosleeza Rice, Alberto Bongzales, Clarence Thomas, Colin Powell or any number of other criminals in the Republican party) -- the big upping of Mr Piyush Jindal is a new low for the Republicans.

This rubbish liner married a wife who (like himself) is Hindu, changed his name to "Bobby" (but not legally) and goes around Louisiana acting like he cares about anything other than raising his own profile at the cost of the poor people of Louisiana who at this terrible time in their history needed someone who wasn't butt buddies with George W. Bush to rebuild their post-Katrina lives.

What's fascinating about Jindal is that he has somehow convinced a great deal of people that he has converted to Christianity when his parents who he himself admits he is very close to continue to practice Hinduism and in fact are leaders in the small community of Hindus in Louisiana. In addition, his parents never attended his so-called baptism to Catholicism which occurred just over 10 years ago and instead attended a joint baptism with his wife (who also, conveniently converted) which occurred just sometime in the late 1990's -- exactly concurrent with his first political appointment: as Secretary of the Louisiana Department of Health and Hospitals.

Seems Mr Jindal is either ashamed of his Hindu background or is simply such a fake that he'll do anything to gain office. Sounds like a true politician.

In any case, Mr Jindal is approximately 5'9" tall -- a height that fits squarely within the small margin of acceptable heights for a McCain VP however, considering McCain's top weapon against Obama is his race and his experience, it is 100% doubtful that Shorty McCain would choose a man even less attractive than himself who many Republicans will consider Black and who has less than a year's experience in political office (as Governor of the unfortunate state of Louisiana.)

How tall is Piyush "Bobby" Jindal? Saccharinist Analysis: Short enough for McCain VP but ugly enough not to make the cut.

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One of the Saccharinist's most popular posts ever was the June 4, 2008, post about John McCain's height issues. As a follow-up to this, the Saccharinist will be providing a service from now until September 1st: providing you the public with the heights of McCain's Vice Presidential possibles.

You see, we here at the Saccharinist have come to believe that -- much like the Miss America pagaent -- top tier US vice presidential possibles should provide the public with their measurements -- it's only fair of them to allow the public to size them up accordingly. And if they don't provide this crucial information, it's up to the Saccharinist to provide it for the public.

Please read below for the latest McCain VP hopefuls and their respective heights -- respective to little ol' Shorty McCain's that is (remember, he's a whopping 5'7" on a good day).



Tim Pawlenty --
As you can see from the above picture, Mr Pawlenty is plenty tall -- at least 6'2" which is well over the acceptable 5'11" height that is required of the McCain VP (not short and not too tall).

How tall is Tom Pawlenty? Saccharinist analysis: too tall for VP.


Mitt Romney --
6'2" -- the now infamous photograph of McCain and Romney standing next to each other speaks for itself.

How tall is Mitt Romney? Saccharinist analysis: way too tall for VP




Charlie "Christodoulou" Crist --
he's short alright, almost as short as Shorty McCain himself. But that's not a good thing. Plus, Crist is a catalogue of suspense in his own right -- he's been pinned as gay for decades and is conveniently tying the knot just in time for the September Republican National Committee convention -- Cristy announced his engagement just a couple weeks ago.

How tall is Charlie Crist? Saccharinist analysis: He keeps the ticket short -- too short in fact -- and the gay rumors, including some undoubtedly up and coming confessions, will certainly exclude him from VP.



Carly Fiorina --
no exact source -- but according to various sources (here's one) and this picture of her standing next to McCain, she's "tall" which means she's definitely over 5'7" and definitely taller than McCain without the requisite heels of a woman in charge. The novelty factor of her being younger than McCain and a woman cannot possibly make up for the fact that she is a woman who is taller than the male Presidential candidate.

How tall is Carly Fiorina? Saccharinist analysis: way too tall for VP




John Thune --
also known as "that tall guy from Murdo" which leads us to believe Thune is not just taller than McCain but a heck of a lot taller. Although at 47 years old he does balance out the age gap between McCain and Obama, his height is way out of McCain's league -- and reach. Judging from this photo of Thune standing way taller than even Obama, we'll guess he's at least 6'4" which would put him at nearly a foot taller than McCain (see photo for Saccharinist estimate). Talk about towering over the Presidency.

How tall is John Thune? Saccharinist analysis: step aside Paul Bunyan -- you're way way way too tall for VP



Eric Cantor --
he appears to be approximately 5'9" to 5'10" tall. In fact, he fits right in that acceptable height range for a McCain VP (that's him on the right) -- he's taller than the presidential candidate but doesn't entirely look like a gorilla next to this chimp. Plus, he's young (45), unknown (therefore doesn't have a soiled Cheney-like reputation), he's from Virginia, and -- bonus! -- he's Jewish which could be highly beneficial for the Repubelicans considering over 70% of Jews voted democratic in the last presidential election.

How tall is Eric Cantor? Saccharinist analysis: as of August 5, 2008, Eric Cantor is the leading candidate for McCain VP, based on height alone.


Click here for the Saccharinist's leading article on John McCain's height...


For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

Kissinger Sleeps at the China Olympics, Still a Criminal

No, this post is not about how 3 of the worst criminals in world history are still allowed to walk freely among human beings, but rather how the criminal in the middle -- one Henry "the Killer" Kissinger -- is apparently not under threat of prosecution in China for war crimes.




Kissinger paid his due respect to the Chinese nation on Saturday by falling asleep during their basketball game against Spain at the Olympic games in Beijing. (see above photo of Kissinger sleeping easy at the Beijing olympics.) Fortunately for the US media, he did manage to stay awake during the China v US game today.

Rest easy, friends, all is still well in the world of unrepentant, unprosecuted genocidal maniacs.

Rielle Baby Daddy : Edwards' Little Girl Frances

(photo source: my.gritto.com)

You've got to hand it to Billy Clinton -- he somehow managed to avoid impregnating someone (at least as far as we know).

John Edwards, on the other hand, has obviously impregnated Rielle Hunter (aka Lisa Druck, aka Alison Poole).

This week, he claimed that his affair with Miss Hunter/Druck/Poole ended in 2006. But photographic evidence makes it plain that he is still very much in touch with his lover.

Further, he has claimed that according to the "timing" of the birth, there's no way he is the baby daddy -- since, as he claims, his affair with said woman ended in 2006. But we here at the Saccharinist cannot think of any reasonable situation where a married man of his political stature would be cuddling his ex-lover's newborn baby -- UNLESS the little newborn's got some Edwards blood in her.

So, let the record show that Miss Hunter/Druck/Poole is refusing a paternity test and Mr Edwards/Beauty Queen has shown a clear interest in late night trysts to visit this baby from a woman who he says he "did not love".

Translation:

John Edwards is the father of Frances Quinn Hunter.

Perhaps someday he'll take it upon himself to admit that, too. In the meantime, let us all step back and watch him rebuild a political career as a moral, decent and honest leader. It's not like it would be the first time a politician did that...

George W. Bushler -- Olympic Chimp

No, folks, this is not a chimp or a bonobo in the crowd -- it's the leader of the greatest superpower in the world...


It is the most global sporting event and every time the Olympics come around everybody talks about sportsmanship, not politics. But everything is politics, friends -- even sports.

Fortunately, the audience at the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics had the decency to show their disrespect to George W. Bushler and his coked up wife (or whatever it is in her system that keeps her mouth shut and her hand from choking Georgey's neck).

But the good thing about George W. Bushler is that he's the gift that keeps on giving. Yes, he has no respect for humanity, Yes, he has no respect for international law, but best of all, he also has no respect for himself.

That explains why cameras focusing on the Bushler as he sat in the audience during the opening ceremony repeatedly caught him slouching wide-legged, grimacing like only a Bushler (or an ogre) can and taking regular obvious peeks at his watch (which, in all fairness, he can't really read since it's not digital).

In fact, the only two times he sat at attention -- beaming that "presidential" pose that has fooled many a million Americans -- was when the olympic team from Iraq feebled out onto the track -- waving what was left of their tattered nation's flag, and of course, the USA team -- for whom he troubled an ovation. Not that anyone cared.

C'mon Bushler! Don't strain yourself -- your legacy is irrelevant now, at least give yourself a break from the acting.

Enjoy the Olympics folks -- it's a welcome break from the hideousness of the Wart on Terror and its related horrors...

Edwards admits Rielle affair, denies paternity

(photo source: ABC)


Funny how a little thing like a photograph of you in the hotel room of a woman who is not your mortally cancer-stricken wife can spark a tad of honesty.

Johnny "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful" Edwards -- former presidential candidate, former chance at the VP -- admitted today that he indeed had an affair with Rielle Hunter. Guess nobody informed him that everybody in the world already knew that.

But get this, he says he ISN'T the father of the little girl Frances Quinn Hunter whom he was photographed coddling at the Beverly Hilton just a week ago.

Yeah, right.

And George W. Bush didn't lie about his reasons for going to war against Iraq.

Too bad we don't have actual footage of George W. Bush discussing how he's lying. Then maybe the rest of America would accept that he, too, is a liar.

On another note, it's incredibly hilarious how Johnny boy decided to make his little announcement on Olympic day. It brings up the troubling fact that the mainstream (aka establisment) media refused to discuss this important story. It was good of the ABC Nightline program to arrange for this little gab session with Edwards -- looks like they are quite capable of putting a story together when and if they decide to put it out there.

Hmmm...wonder if they've refused to discuss other important stories? Anyone?

For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

Rielle Proof: Photo Evidence of Edwards with his Love Child

(photo source: National Enquirer)


In case you missed it, there is now photographic evidence (blurry, but fathomable) of John Edwards holding his baby daughter, Frances Quinn Hunter, from lover Rielle Hunter (real name: Lisa Druck).

Nice one Johnny -- you cheated on your cancer stricken wife and got caught holding the evidence.

For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

McCain Vice Presidential Picks: Who's too tall, too short, and just the right height

One of the Saccharinist's most popular posts ever was the June 4, 2008, post about John McCain's height issues. As a follow-up to this, the Saccharinist will be providing a service from now until September 1st: providing you the public with the heights of McCain's Vice Presidential possibles.

You see, we here at the Saccharinist have come to believe that -- much like the Miss America pagaent -- top tier US vice presidential possibles should provide the public with their measurements -- it's only fair of them to allow the public to size them up accordingly. And if they don't provide this crucial information, it's up to the Saccharinist to provide it for the public.

Please read below for the latest McCain VP hopefuls and their respective heights -- respective to little ol' Shorty McCain's that is (remember, he's a whopping 5'7" on a good day).



Tim Pawlenty --
As you can see from the above picture, Mr Pawlenty is plenty tall -- at least 6'2" which is well over the acceptable 5'11" height that is required of the McCain VP (not short and not too tall).

How tall is Tom Pawlenty? Saccharinist analysis: too tall for VP.


Mitt Romney --
6'2" -- the now infamous photograph of McCain and Romney standing next to each other speaks for itself.

How tall is Mitt Romney? Saccharinist analysis: way too tall for VP




Charlie "Christodoulou" Crist --
he's short alright, almost as short as Shorty McCain himself. But that's not a good thing. Plus, Crist is a catalogue of suspense in his own right -- he's been pinned as gay for decades and is conveniently tying the knot just in time for the September Republican National Committee convention -- Cristy announced his engagement just a couple weeks ago.

How tall is Charlie Crist? Saccharinist analysis: He keeps the ticket short -- too short in fact -- and the gay rumors, including some undoubtedly up and coming confessions, will certainly exclude him from VP.



Carly Fiorina --
no exact source -- but according to various sources (here's one) and this picture of her standing next to McCain, she's "tall" which means she's definitely over 5'7" and definitely taller than McCain without the requisite heels of a woman in charge. The novelty factor of her being younger than McCain and a woman cannot possibly make up for the fact that she is a woman who is taller than the male Presidential candidate.

How tall is Carly Fiorina? Saccharinist analysis: way too tall for VP




John Thune --
also known as "that tall guy from Murdo" which leads us to believe Thune is not just taller than McCain but a heck of a lot taller. Although at 47 years old he does balance out the age gap between McCain and Obama, his height is way out of McCain's league -- and reach. Judging from this photo of Thune standing way taller than even Obama, we'll guess he's at least 6'4" which would put him at nearly a foot taller than McCain (see photo for Saccharinist estimate). Talk about towering over the Presidency.

How tall is John Thune? Saccharinist analysis: step aside Paul Bunyan -- you're way way way too tall for VP



Eric Cantor --
he appears to be approximately 5'9" to 5'10" tall. In fact, he fits right in that acceptable height range for a McCain VP (that's him on the right) -- he's taller than the presidential candidate but doesn't entirely look like a gorilla next to this chimp. Plus, he's young (45), unknown (therefore doesn't have a soiled Cheney-like reputation), he's from Virginia, and -- bonus! -- he's Jewish which could be highly beneficial for the Repubelicans considering over 70% of Jews voted democratic in the last presidential election.

How tall is Eric Cantor? Saccharinist analysis: as of August 5, 2008, Eric Cantor is the leading candidate for McCain VP, based on height alone.


Click here for the Saccharinist's leading article on John McCain's height...

Click here for other McCain VP Picks and their heights...

For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

The Next Cheney: Website Links McCain to the Devil

As we all know, John McCain has as much chance at the Presidency as a combover on Lake Shore Drive and nothing's helping his odds like the intelligent tactics by the DNC this year. Not content capitulating on this pensioner's age, decrepit looks, or -- more importantly -- his warmongering tendencies, the Democratic National Committee has decided to put it down in plain English exactly how horrifyingly deceitful John McCain really is.

Courtesy of the DNC, there is now a website called "The Next Cheney" which asks Americans to donate to a branch of the DNC that will analyze McCain's choice for the Vice President and "spread the truth" about what the guy is really about. Basically, the DNC is offering to prove exactly how tight the McCain VP is with the George Bushler/Dickless Cheney Klan -- and while McCain's still choosin', this website is devoted to exposing the top known candidates for the job.

Looks like McCain's gonna have to choose a Democrat as his VP because there isn't a single Republican politician out there who isn't soiled by the Bushler presidency AND who would actually be inclined to ticket with McCain.


For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

Ear for Love: Woman Hidden Under Van Gogh Painting

Scientists using x-ray technology have unveiled the portrait of a woman under Vincent Van Gogh's rather cryptic 1887 "Patch of Grass" painting.







Could this be the brothel woman named Rachel to whom he gave his left ear lobe in 1888? Guess we'll never know...

Cindy Sheehan Submits Nominating Papers for Congress

If you can't beat 'em join them -- and today, July 29th, 2008, Cindy Sheehan did exactly that: she has submitted her nominating papers and is one step away from being on the ballot to beat Nancy "Plastic" Pelosi -- the supreme conservative "democrat" who does all she can to act like she's criticizing George Bushler without actually making him pay for his crimes.

Sheehan is that amazing woman and mother who became internationally known in 2005 for camping outside George Bushler's Texas ranch to protest his illegal war on Iraq after she lost her soldier son in the Iraq War.

Today, Sheehan submitted more than her required number of signatures to attain ballot status in California's 8th Congressional District -- the exact district Nancy Pelosi "represents." Remember, Cindy Sheehan is not from that district in California so in order to put herself on the California ballot she needed 10,198 signatures.

Sheehan is running as an Indepedent. It didn't take long for her to become disillusioned with the "democratic" party of which she used to be a member and in May 2007 she officially left the party when the "Democratic" controlled Congress -- in spite of everything -- voted to continue funding the Iraq War.

She started her independent campaign for Congress in July 2007 as a response to George Bushler's commutation of Scooter "Leaker" Libby's sentence for his involvement in the Valerie Plame scandal.

This woman is one of a kind and an example of how much is possible in America if people are informed enough and concerned enough to take action.

For any of you out there who live in San Francisco and want to elect a human and not a fraud to office, vote Cindy Sheehan on November 4th.


For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

Karl Rove Citizen's Arrest Attempt in Iowa

(image source: DesMoinesCatholicWorker.org -- Kirk Brown reading the Citizen's Arrest Complaint to Rove on July 25, 2008))


Karl Rove was almost arrested in Iowa this week when 4 Iowans attempted a citizen's arrest of him as he spoke at a Republican fundraiser in Des Moines.

The four individuals have been named as retired Methodist minister and Peace and Justice Advocate, Rev. Chet Guinn, 80, and 3 Des Moines Catholic Workers, Edward Bloomer, 61, Kirk Brown, 25, and Mona Shaw, 57.

All four were arrested for trespassing just long enough for Rove to finish up and leave and then released. But not before they read from this Citizen's Arrest Complaint in the case of the United States of America versus Karl Christian Rove.

The complaint charges Rove with
-Election Fraud
-Conspiracy to Commit Offense or Defraud the United States, for false information leading to the war in Iraq
-Treason, Sedition, and Subversive Activities (also related to Iraq, as well as the torture being committed at Guantanamo)

...the United States code is cited in each charge -- these people really did their homework.

This is the second attempt by Kirk Brown and Mona Shaw to perform a citizen's arrest of Rove -- the first time was in March 2008 when he was speaking at the University of Iowa.

This is a significant event which unfortunately has received insignificant press coverage in the United States media. Weak. Very weak. Rove has a long list of criminal activities, not the least of which is his considerable role in the Valerie Plame CIA-leak investigation. (click here for the Saccharinist Guide to the Plame CIA Leak Case.)

Fortunately, it is a positive trend toward citizen action -- more people need to be out there attempting citizen's arrests (what about George W. Bushler? Condosleezza Rice? Dickless Cheney? John Asscroft? Alberto Bongzales...the list is endless.)

More Americans need to undertake citizens' arrests of these criminals and unlike this Iowa case the legal system needs to actually support these legal actions by members of the public. Clearly, the United States has a great deal of obstacles in place for people who actually attempt to abide by the law.

Edwards and Rielle: Beverly Hilton Security Guard Speaks

It is pretty obvious now that John Edwards was indeed sneaking around in the Beverly Hilton Hotel in the wee hours of the morning of Tuesday July 22, 2008.

The security guard who intervened between Edwards and the paparazzi who were chasing him has now confirmed a story that everyone in the United States media has known (but not discussed) since at least December 2007.

"What are they saying about me?" he asked during that fateful encounter Tuesday night.

"John Edwards cheated on his cancer stricken wife -- the mother of his 3 children -- and is the father of Rielle Hunter's baby." -- that's what they're saying Johnny.

And the chatter has only just begun.

It's a sad day in the American media when FOX news is the only corporation doing actual investigative work -- they are the only major news channel covering this story. In fact, some corporations, like the Los Angeles Times, have actually told their staff to keep away from this story.

Man, where's Larry Flynt and his adultery brigade when we need him? (Though Flynt failed to bring forward George W. Bush's mistresses.)

American investigative journalism is shoddy indeed. But at least we can say well done to the reporter who way back in 2007 discovered that Johnny boy Edwards gets $400 haircuts -- that was the first big sign that this guy is a few cuts short of genuine.


For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

Dropping Out: Cosponsorship Removals for HR 362 Iran Naval Blockade

One by one, congressmen are removing themselves as co-sponsors of HR 362 -- the bill designed to authorize a "naval blockade" i.e. a military action against Iran.

Today, Congressman Tom Allen of Maine removed his name as a co-sponsor and had this to say:

“I cosponsored H. Con. Res. 362 because I believe that the Iranian regime poses very real threats to stability in the region and that it is in our national security interest to prevent Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons. However, there is language in this resolution that may imply Congressional approval of a blockade of Iran. I want to be perfectly clear about where I stand: I believe our nation should be engaging in tough diplomatic talks with Iran that will permanently dismantle that country's nuclear weapons program, and that sanctions should be part of that strategy. However, I do not support the idea of a blockade. Since the resolution has not been amended to address these concerns, yesterday, I removed my name as a cosponsor.”

Yesterday, Congressmen Steve Cohen of Tennessee removed his name.

And a few weeks ago, Congressman William Lacy Clay of Missouri removed his name.

Let's see which representative will be next to recognize that the American public doesn't want any more wars.

"Sticks and Carrots": Obama's Iran Plan

Barack Obama is going green with his method to approaching negotiations with Iran.

"If we show ourselves willing to talk and to offer carrots and sticks in order to deal with these pressing problems, and if Iran then rejects any overtures of that sort, it puts us in a stronger position to mobilize the international community to ratchet up the pressure on Iran," Obama said in Israel today.

Which reminds us, why is Iran policy repeatedly and continually dictated on political trips to Israel? Nicolas Sarcrazy has done it. Hitleretta from Germany has done it, Bushler did it.

If Obama wants to set apart his Iran strategy, may be he shouldn't have carried on the long and failed tradition of discussing relations with Iran in the very nation that, second to the US, has been most threatening to Iran.

Sounds like more of the same.

As for the sticks and carrots, apparently it's a (little known) idiom about rewarding good behavior (the carrots) and punishing bad behavior (the sticks). This once again positions the US as an international enforcer or some sort of judge, jury and executioner of the Middle East.

But the US won't get anywhere with Iran until they realize that Iranians don't take orders. Maybe we should send Obama to Tehrangeles for awhile so he can figure out who exactly he's dealing with.



For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

Vanity Fair Spoofs New Yorker Cover

Now this is funny because it's true.

Vanity Fair has spoofed the ridiculous New Yorker Cover of the Obamas, but unlike the New Yorker cover, it is an accurate portrayal of the facts of the McCains's lives.

John McCain is portrayed looking stooped over and aged.

True.

Cindy McCain is portrayed wobbling around with prescription pills she admitted stealing from the charity she ran to help underprivileged children.

True.

The frame in the oval office that contained a picture of Bin Laden on the New Yorker cover now contains the actual World #1 Terrorist: George W. Bushler, John McCain's frenemy du jour.

True.

And instead of the US flag burning in the Oval Office fireplace, they have the US Constitution which, as is common knowledge, has been burnt to a crisp under the Bush presidency.

True.

Well done Vanity Fair, you made fun of the New Yorker and sent a political message too: that the truths of these candidates' lives are far more amusing than the prejudiced half-truths.


For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

John Edwards and Rielle Hunter Love Child: July 2008 Update

(photo source: Daily Mail)


Certainly, the National Enquirer is not exactly a credible news source -- but from time to time they do actually invest in some actually reporting and get something right.

It won't be long before we find out for sure -- but it seems that good ol' John Edwards has a love child with a mistress whom he still visits. In fact, it seems he visited her in the wee hours of the night during a trip to Los Angeles just yesterday. Hmm, makes this December 2007 Enquirer story even more interesting.

Her name is Rielle Hunter and she was hired to produce videos for the Edwards political campaign. If the Enquirer proves right, Edwards will be paying her bill with a child support bonus.

Rhetorically, as always, one wonders why these politicians just can't keep it in their pants...oh yeah, it's cuz they're rich, they're powerful and they can get away with genocide (just ask George W. Bushler -- or his dad, or his friends, or...or...)

It's the oldest trick in the political book to oust a politician via his midnight trysting habits but it is fascinating that in this day and Internet age politicians still think they can get away with adultery. Guess it's just the hubris of power getting the best of these cretins.

McCain, as we all know, is an adulterer. So one could assume with some confidence that if Obama has kept it in his pants during his marriage and continues to do so until at least November 5, 2008 -- easier said than done, obviously -- he is on his way to the Presidency.

Meanwhile, let's see how the John Edwards show wraps this diaper up...


PS. Yes, the Saccharinist has deliberately abstained from commenting on the silliness of the official state talks between the US and Iran recently because -- ask most any Iranian and they'll tell you -- this is old news. Officials from the US government and the Islamic Republic of Iran government have been holding talks, meetings and tea parties since day one. This is only new news to the American public. Damn, there's a pattern here...


For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

Jesse Jackson's N-word Rant Against Obama on Fox

Stick a fork in Jesse Jackson, cuz he's done.

Jesse "you are not a man because you can make a baby" Jackson has a sad history of not taking his own advice. And now he's crossed the line into the realm of plain fool.

It turns out that that controversial FOX News recording of him whispering to Dr Reed V. Tuckson wasn't just a call for Barack Obama's castration, but also included a tidy little reference to another topic the Reverend Jackson has spent decades enforcing but not practicing: use of the n-word. (click here to watch a 2007 video of Jackson discussing use of the n-word.)

Yup, Jesse Jackson called Barack Obama a nigger. Well, Obama and every other African American out there. See, the original statement by FOX that Jackson had said Obama "talks down to black people...telling [black people] how to behave" was a paraphrasing of what Jackson really said -- not "black people" but "niggers." (Click here to see the uncut version of Jesse Jackson using the n-word on Fox.)

Ah! Nostalgia! It was only last year that Jackson accused Obama of "acting like he's white" because he didn't comment on the Jena 6 racial scandal. And here he goes using the very word that white slaveholders used to diminish and emasculate black men and women.

Smooth move, Jesse.

It is a godforsaken shame that this man of the cloth just cannot bring himself to practice what he preaches. But hey, that kind of comes with the cloth, doesn't it?

Still, the biggest crime Jackson has committed here is not that he attacked Obama's testicles or even that he went against his own rule of not using that insult of insults.

No, Jesse Jackson's biggest screw-up was that after a lifetime of being in the spotlight, he didn't have the brains or the common sense to know how to behave in a television studio. And that's the straw that breaks the camel's back for Jesse "frogeyes" Jackson.

He is now officially and globally stripped of any dignity he may have had remaining. Not that there was much left.

As the Saccharinist has said in the past, the black community is desperately lacking in a unified leader who instills dignity, cohesion, and pride on a national scale. Jesse Jackson is not that leader.

And neither is Barack Obama -- at least that's what this whole episode has concluded for Obama: that he is not a candidate for African Americans but a candidate for all Americans.

Another score for Obama and the legions of white Americans who might have voted against him because they thought he's the new Malcolm X. Well played indeed.

For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

Ahmad Batebi Arrives in America

Little wonder that the US military is so aggressively protective of any images leaving in the hands of photojournalists -- one single image can alter the course of an agenda.

Just ask Ahmad Batebi.

This July 1999 cover photo on the Economist magazine changed his life forever. As a student protester in the '99 demos, he was in Tehran along with hundreds of thousands of other Iranians, demanding civil and human rights. Unfortunately for him, a Western-based photographer took this picture of him and the Economist published it -- already under arrest for participating in the demos, the publication of this picture only worsened his plight.

At the age of 21 he was sentenced to a 15 year term in the notorious Evin prison. The judge who sentenced him allegedly stated that "with this photo you have signed your own death sentence."

Batebi was tortured, then released, tortured then released, then tortured some more -- one of the lucky ones who wasn't actually tortured to death.

And irony of all ironies -- like so many thousands of victims of torture from around the world, he has landed in the United States. Yes, Ahmad Batebi -- a true hero of Iran's struggle for civil and human rights -- with much difficulty arrived in the United States nearly 2 weeks ago.

He has already been interviewed on the Persian language US State Department broadcaster, Voice of America (click here for YouTube videos of him in Persian) and the New York Times, amongst others.

But Batebi himself is eager to tell his story (click here for Ahmad Batebi's blog). He has declared that he used his cell phone camera to film his escape through Iraq (he was granted medical leave from prison since for many years he had not been given proper medical care following his torturings) and he wants to make a report of his escape for the world to see.

There are countless Iranians who have made supreme sacrifices to expose the human rights violations of the Islamic Republic government. Only a few names are known. Ahmad Batebi is one of them.

Cover-up: Obama in the New Yorker

The latest issue of the New Yorker has created a minor stir amongst the less than 1% of the American population that even knows this magazine exists.

The cover includes 4 prominently offensive items...

1...a caricature of Obama dressed in that Kenyan attire from that photo he took in Kenya in local clothing which has been called "Muslim" clothing throughout the mainstream press in the United States. I guess Hassidic Jews, Buddhists, Catholic Cardinals, Hindu Gurus and an endless supply of other religious leaders should now be referred to as wearing "Muslim clothing" because they wear flowing robes and bulging headgear.

2...Michelle Obama curiously dressed in military gear and strapped with a Kalashnikov. Not to mention an outrageous depiction of a fro that completely contrasts with her straightened 'do, and shoulder pads circa 1985 which have nothing to do with the tailored and contemporary designs she is regularly seen wearing.

3...an American flag burning in their fireplace as both Barack and Michelle Obama stand in the Oval Office giving each other that 'scary' fist handshake that Black people do that scares non-Black people so much, cuz, you know, they all do it and the rest of the world just can't do it without looking very uncool.

4...a framed image of Bush family friend Osama bin Laden. Enough said.

Obviously, the cover is pure propaganda and was published with the intent to profit from some of the lies and misrepresentations that succeed in electing thieves, criminals, and other kinds of Bushes to high office in the United States.

The Ryan Lizza article that the cover image refers to is yet another attempt to discredit Obama's years as a community worker in the Chicago area. In the article, Lizza makes a pathetically bold attempt to make Obama out to be an opportunist, a dangerously goal-oriented individual, and a strategist. Opportunists, goals, and strategies oh my! We certainly wouldn't want such qualities in a President.

George W Bush's draft dodging in Alabama didn't get a fraction of the coverage that Obama's community service has gotten which makes you think: to get elected POTUS it is better to have violated the laws of the land and engaged in criminal activities than to have made an effort toward positive change in one's community.

Thanks for the tip limp Lizza, but we'd already figured that one out.

And as for you, New Yorker, nice try but your magazine is still irrelevant (which is why significant information in Seymour Hersch articles gets published within your pages instead of in the mainstream news where such information would actually affect the voting public of America) and the only thing you've succeeded in doing is filling in air time on Fox News.

For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

Iran Smokes McCain on Cigarette Genocide Joke

Looks like that Shorty McCain thinks Americans find genocide funny.

Only July 9th, at a campaign rally in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, good ol' Shorty responded to a comment that US exports to Iran have increased tenfold during the Bushler presidency, including a rise in cigarette exports, by saying "Maybe that's a way of killing 'em."

Well done Shorty! You've opened the door to a great many possibilities now that you've confirmed that you are openly warmongering against Iran, that you take personal amusement in discussing the murder of Iranian people, and that you have no qualms about business contracts which openly contradict US policy toward supposedly dangerous nations like Iran.

Thus, McCain has added one more crime to the Bush Crime Family's violations -- just in time for Senator Kucinich's latest article of impeachment (Kucinich will be filing a new one on July 14th).

Bushler has made great efforts to threaten other nations who conduct business with Iran -- guess in the Bushler rule of books -- and the McCain one too -- rules only apply to the little people who don't dine with Bushler & Co. at Kennebunkport.

It has now come to light that not only did the US government look the other way on a tenfold increase in US exports to Iran but the US government itself has been one of the exporters -- US military equipment has been steadily exported to Iran under the Bushler regime.

Nice one Shorty! You've flashed the spotlight on US government business activities with blacklisted Iran and you've made a racist comment that allowed the Iranian foreign ministry to label you a "warmongering" "genocide" joker with a "disturbed state of mind".

"It is most evident that jokes about genocide will not be tolerated by Iranians or Americans," said the Iranian Foreign Ministry today. "McCain's crude remark on the indiscriminate killing of the Iranian nation not only testifies to his disturbed state of mind, but also to his warmongering approach to foreign policy."

Bomb, bomb, bomb, McCain got bombed...

For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

Obama: Condoleezza or King?

"When Obama is President, he'll make the changes he promised," said the DNC staffer. A friend of the Saccharinist received this response this week during an unsolicited call from a DNC donations volunteer. The question that was asked was "why did Obama vote 'yea' on FISA?"

The question was simple enough, the answer was anything but -- in fact, it's answers like these to votes like a 'yea' on FISA that are troubling. "He voted for FISA because he decided that it was important at the end of the day to protect Americans rather than the terrorists," the staffer continued. To "protect" Americans from what? The only invader under FISA is the US government itself which has now, thanks to Bush's immediate signing of the bill, been authorized to further invade Americans' privacy.

Democrats, liberals, progressives, free thinkers and informed citizens across America are worried today.

They are worried that they are this close to historically electing the first-ever African-American to office and they don't want to speak up in criticism against this candidate.

Obama knows that. The power that surged his candidacy knows that. And it's the easiest way to take advantage of good people who believe that someone who is an African-American, who has lived abroad, who has experienced hatred and division will have it in him to make a positive change toward peace and progress through the American presidency.

But don't forget the Condoleezza Rices of this world. Her own friend was one of the 4 Little Girls of Alabama.

Maybe Obama is who he says he is. Maybe he does want progress, he does want change. Maybe he truly is against the Iraq War, the Afghan War, an attack against Iran. Maybe he's the Martin Luther King, Jr. of a new generation of Americans ... Maybe... Maybe...

But at this point in time, just before the Democratic National Convention, just before a Vice Presidential running mate has been chosen, just before the War on Terror gets even more out of hand, just before Obama thinks he can get away with something like a 'yea' vote on FISA -- at this point in time the good people of the United States need to speak up and let Obama know what they want.

For those of you Democrats or Obama supporters who have been intimidated into keeping quiet, into not criticizing him -- you're digging yourselves deeper into the rut that someone like George W. Bushler was able to take advantage of. When Americans don't speak up, their government gets away with gas prices at nearly $5 a gallon, senseless wars, low-grade disaster cleanups like Katrina and a healthcare system that is rivalled by poor nations like Cuba.

Obama could be Condi or King -- the American public has to decide what they'll let him get away with. The time to make that decision is now more than ever.

For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

War on Iran: US Congress's Naval Blockade

In just a short while, and just under the noses of the American public, the US House of Representatives and the US Senate are due to vote on two resolutions that declare war on Iran. Yes 2 declarations of war against Iran are now in process in the US Congress and nobody is talking about it.

This has received insignificant coverage in the US media, and in the vast reaches of the media in Europe, Australia, South Africa or other "western" allied states.

In fact, the only news about Iran all over the US and British press in particular is news that Iran has tested missiles in its own Persian Gulf. What other sovereign nation in the world wouldn't step up its military exercizes after years of threats and last month's military exercizes in the region which the US government itself admitted were in preparation for an attack on Iran?

Worst of all, the American public has been kept in the dark about this next, horrific war that their tax dollars, their soldiers, and their gas money will pay for.

Both of these resolutions call for US Naval Blockades in the Persian Gulf's Strait of Hormuz -- for those of you who haven't figured out what that means, it is an authorization for US naval ships to congregate in a foreign body of water in an act of war. Against Iran.

Let's see how Obama votes on Senate Resolution 580, considering that he's in good company with hard-core Republicans for his vote on the soon-to-be law bill # HR 6304 which is a 'foreign surveillance act' that passed in Congress today. Obama's "yea" (curiously, Clinton voted "nay" and McCain decide not to vote) announces loud and clear that he doesn't have a problem with the terrorist tactics of the Bush administration against the American public -- at least when it comes to spying on them.

HR 6304 lets Bushler get away with various types of invasive tactics on American citizens -- such as wiretapping and other dangerous intrusions of civil and human rights. Just another sign that the Wart on Terror is still going strong...and that Obama is right on board.

There is no way the Bushler-Cheney regime will leave office without achieving the one goal they rigged an election to win: attacking Iran.

These two Iran war resolutions which, according to the few sources (almost all of them citizen journalists on the web) who have reported on the issue, are being fast-tracked through Congress are the next big step in the Bushler-Cheney regime's long-held effort toward destabilizing the most powerful country in that region.

Senate Resolution 580, entitled "A resolution expressing the sense of the Senate on preventing Iran from acquiring a nuclear weapons capability" has packaged its effort -- as always -- in the form of an immediate danger to the lives of Americans. Resolution 580 was introduced on June 2nd, 2008, and is sponsored by that bigot, Democrat Evan Bayh and as of July 6th, 2008, has 32 co-sponsors including 13 so-called Democrats.

House Resolution 362, entitled "Expressing the sense of Congress regarding the threat posed to international peace, stability in the Middle East, and the vital national security interests of the United States by Iran's pursuit of nuclear weapons and regional hegemony, and for other purposes" also employs the nuclear weapon fear tactic and doesn't even bother to delineate the full intention of its purpose, merely adding that it is for all of the above mentioned fear tactics plus "other purposes". Fascinating workmanship. Resolution 362 is sponsored by Democrat Gary Ackerman, was introduced May 22nd, 2008, and already has 220 co-sponsors as of July 5th, 2008, including 102 so-called Democrats.

Because of the profound lack of information amongst the American public, the majority of which obtain information on their nation and their world from commercial news outlets, this tactic has proven successful since Woodrow Wilson convinced an anti-war public to join World War I after a few short months of propaganda.

Yes, these two massive declarations of war against the tax dollars, safety, and citizens of the United States are being sponsored by declared Democrats and are on their way to a vote -- all as the American public suffers the highest gas prices in history, a devastating mortgage crisis, massive poverty and infant mortality rates, a major economic recession, and a war on terror in Iraq and Afghanistan that has proven to be an even greater disaster than the Vietnam war.

***Thanks CrooksAndLiars.com for featuring this Saccharinist blog entry in your July 11, 2008, Blog-Round-up

For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

Barack McCain: On Track to the Presidency

For any Americans out there who still think progressive values have any hope of budding in the Corporate States of America, think again. Corporations are mini-dictatorships and not benevolent ones at that.

Yes, Barack Obama is half-black but he's all-conservative. Because he has to be to win.

Progressive politics -- human politics -- flickered in and out of the American way with Roosevelt and the New Deal and there we might consider thanking Eleanore Roosevelt for her existence on the world stage. Jimmy Carter didn't exist -- he was the short-term concession conservatives had to make to Americans after the media got out of hand and exposed them for who they are with Watergate and Vietnam. Hence, today's massive reign on the American media.

Today, within the top US media -- the most watched, listened to, and read media amongst Americans -- the only criticism of the US government is in the realm of comedy. The situation is so desperate that even the self-admitting idiot David Letterman has seized an opportunity to brave political opinions -- even if they are limited to addressing George W Bush's lack of intelligence.

See, 3 and a half years of Jimmy Carter and a half a year of negative campaigning
against "soft" politics (best known today as "efforts at negotiation, compromise, and
analysis") succeeded in convincing the malleable and deeply uninformed American public that fear, aggression, and invasive foreign policy are far more significant to
their lives than national healthcare, a living wage, education and social services.

The Clintons only reinforced centuries of standard US government policy: conservative ideology and practice through and through.

So don't be surprised that Obama is showing signs of being tougher on Iran.

Don't be surprised that Obama has hired the Clintonites Madeleine "collateral damage saves lives" Albright and Warren "bomb Iraq" Christopher as his national security kingpins.

Don't be surprised that we are constantly reminded of the Obamas' long held
religious values.

Don't be surprised that Obama is loosening his stance on a sustained and rapid removal of forces from Iraq -- that massive city within in a city that is the US Embassy compound in Baghdad was built to last way way past George W Bushler's reign.

Just don't be surprised. And don't keep yourself in the dark -- do some research of
your own and learn a little bit about American history. Inform yourself. Educate
yourself.

The conservatives who founded this country back when the Puritans realized that wiping the Indians off the map would save them the hassle of negotiation have never lost their hold as CEO's of the most bountiful and well-run corporation in the world.

The "Republicans" as the conservatives are formally labeled these days (wrongly so, as most any Democrat in office will tell you) will not "lose" this election -- they've never lost an election -- their agenda has stayed in place since day one.

Amongst the conservative elite that run the US of A, there is no fear, no hesitancy, no worry that John McCain will lose the election. Come November 4th, 2008, you will find that Barack Obama has made the final necessary transformation to the ideal conservative candidate.

Right on schedule for the vast majority of Americans whose profound lack of
knowledge of their own lives and their own country dictates the misery of the vast majority of the world whose lives are run into the ground because of election day USA.

For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

Running Short: The Tall Tale of John McCain's Height

It is increasingly difficult to look at John McCain without wondering if he wears lifts.

According to most sources – and according to eyeballing estimates by even the least discerning Americans out there, Mr McCain is at most 5’ 7” (1.70 m) tall. Now the last time any man under 5’ 8” (1.73 m) had a taste of the U.S. presidency, his first initials were U.S. and he’d just commanded an army that united the states into one grand ol’ nation. Oh, and he wasn’t considered short since the average height of a man in the 1850’s was approximately just over 5’ 7.5” (1.71 m).

While surprisingly little is being made of many of McCain’s substantial shortcomings, one would think that the U.S. press – notoriously shallow in its coverage of any issue, especially a significant one like whether someone has the credentials, character and ability to lead the most powerful nation in the world – would at least smirk at or even remark on the fact that the Republican party’s big candidate is actually quite small.

The problems McCain faces even at this juncture of the campaign season are worrying indeed for the Republican party and not just because pretty soon McCain will be standing side-by-side 6’ 1.5” (1.87 m) Barack Obama at presidential debates. Now, as McCain and his party pursue a suitable Vice Presidential candidate for their not-so-winning ticket, the problems that another height challenged presidential candidate, one Michael S. Dukakis (5’ 8”, 1.73 m), faced seem very real indeed.

When Dukakis chose the 6’ 1” (1.85 m) Lloyd Bentsen as his running mate for the 1988 presidential campaign against 6’ 2” (1.88 m) George Bush the elder, it seemed like a good idea at the time – an undoubtedly concerted effort to present a more balanced height average for the Democratic ticket. Sadly for Dukakis, none of his advisers succeeded (if they even tried) in predicting just how unfortunately silly a presidential candidate looks when his lesser-office partner towers above him. Some say it might have cost him the election.

So what’s McCain to do? He obviously can’t choose a VP candidate as tall as Lloyd Bentsen (especially considering he’s even shorter than Dukakis), which leaves him with the only option of choosing a VP that barely makes the average height of a U.S. male (5’ 10”). Will American voters notice that the Republican ticket is short on prospects? Does the U.S. public care how their President looks? Just ask H. Ross Perot (5’ 6”, 1. 68 m).

Sure, it’s wrong to judge a book by its withered little cover but Americans are going to do it anyway. And certainly history is chock full of short men (with short man complexes, also known as the Napolean complex after one of history’s most notorious overcompensators) who’ve reached great heights. But the Vladimir Putins (5’ 5.5”, 1.67 m), Nicolas Sarcozys (5’ 5”, 1.65 m) and Silvio Berlusconis (5’ 5.5”, 1.67 m – though, embarrassingly, he himself claims he’s taller than both Putin and Sarcozy at a whopping 5’ 7.5”, 1.71 m) of the world pulled off their towering achievements at an age when the vitality of a lingering youth still propelled their detractors to look beyond their shortcomings.

This isn’t about ageism, it’s about wondering if the oldest presidential candidate ever – a man whose clean bill of health has been tattered by advanced skin cancers, kidney stones and high cholesterol – is up to the job.

Which brings us back to McCain’s choice for VP. Will the Republican ticket this year be a repeat of the Bush-Cheney arrangement: A known but largely incapable Presidential candidate being matched up with an actual president that – due to a number of faults, such as being in possession of the face of evil – couldn’t win on his own? You know the Republican strategists aren’t kidding themselves about McCain’s long term standings. Be on the lookout for a major behind-the-scenes puppeteer – someone who’s been a significant policymaker or adviser deep within the U.S. government for at least the last 30 years – being chosen as McCain’s VP.

Today, as Barack Obama has claimed the Democratic nomination and the actual presidential campaign season – all 5 months of it – takes off, the long and short of McCain’s candidacy will only now become apparent to the American voter. The Democrat versus Republican presidential debate season is on the brink and even if the masterminds of the Republican party (the same ones who did a bad job of sneaking George Bush the younger (5’ 11”, 1.80 m) an earpiece during his last presidential campaign debates) manage to maneuver a taller stand for McCain’s podium, at the end of the debate he’ll still have to shake Obama’s hand and put himself up for instant comparisons as Obama stands there looking authoritative, powerful and, well, tall.

Click here for a regularly updated height comparison of McCain VP choices...

For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.

Obama Reinvents the Game

The Clintons never reinvented politics they just perfected it. Their exceptional ability to grasp and ameliorate existing political strategies has always been their hallmark and their bulwark against massive defeat.

Their -- and let's not mistake the Clinton brand for anything less than a Bill and Hillary team -- first-run presidential strategy back when Bill was priming for the 1992 election was their way-outside-the-beltway status, the image that "heck, we don't know anything about politics Washington style, we just care about America a whole lot and we're not gonna give up till we make it better".

It wasn't the first time this strategy was used in American politics-- but that didn't matter because the Clintons knew exactly how to make it work with precision. They even managed to use it to re-elect incumbent President Clinton -- portraying him as a naive victim of tabloid media tactics and Republican antics.

Unfortunately for Hillary this out-of-town-kid ploy was never applicable to this election, not least because the Clintons are now the definition of DC: the connections, the fake smiles, the practiced and rehearsed perfect answers to every journalist's routine question. And the lobbyists with whom they intimate and who've been a crucial source of funding for Hillary's presidential campaign.

What's gotten the Clintons into a jam in this election is not that they couldn't use their tested outsider status (the one that crawled Bill into the presidency and secured Hillary a senatorship in a state she never lived in) but that their opponent who could have did not.

Barack Obama has never made a gimmick of his presidential campaign and that's what's confused the Clintons and all of Obama's opponents. His overriding theme has been attributed to him rather than manufactured by him. It's one that every American who has gotten wind of any press coverage of this election, be it news junkie depth or intermittent glimpses of the front page headline in the 7-Eleven -- that he's different and different means change.

Most Americans can't admit that they know a great deal about politics or even about their government's policies, be they domestic or foreign, what they can say is that something's very not right and somebody with a new attitude -- not a new vision necessarily -- can make a change.

Yes, Obama the policymaker, the politician, ambitious citizen, is just like every other candidate in the field, past and present, but for one difference: there is something about his poised but firm leadership, his easily confident demeanor, and his detectable wisdom -- in short his personality and attitude -- that set him apart from others of his ilk of political contenders.

He has succeeded in convincing a large number of Americans that he knows something they don't -- something significant, something powerful. And that's spiritually settling for a population with a profound understanding of feelings but not of facts. From this vantage point here and now, Obama seems like he can lead this country away from the direction it's been headed and toward a better more successful and possibly even more democratic path.

This is not about the American people "liking" Obama more than Hillary. It's about the confidence that more and more Americans are having in Obama's ability to steer the United States toward a more inclusive, peaceful and democratic state. The one success that the Bush administration has had -- an unintentional one no doubt -- is that it has perceptibly injected a sense of internationalism in Americans. For the first time ever Americans understand that what happens in the rest of the world -- much of which their own government is critically involved in -- has direct and serious consequences for themselves. Americans are newly cognizant of their position as citizens of the world and even of their own mixed society. Obama embodies all of this for them.

The Clintons can try all they want but their co-history of the Balkan wars, the attacks on Afghanistan, the approach toward Somalia, the taunts of Operation Desert Fox and the horrific sanctions in Iraq, just to mention a few clear indicators of violence, have soiled their international reputation as peacemakers. Their domestic failures on health care reform, free trade, welfare, education and corporate power underscore a devastating inability to positively impact crucial elements of American government, society, and business which desperately needed change.

Hillary may never quit this race until she's literally been ousted by her own party, but she may well quit -- if only temporarily -- the idea that politics is a game that can't be reinvented. Barack Obama has shown her and the Clintons that "change" means a different approach, a different attitude, a different style. Something new.

For the latest Saccharinist coverage of Selection '08 click here.